Posted by Cantankerous Panda on July 10, 2010
I like to follow good classic films with terrible movies.
Legion is almost inexplicably hard to describe. I really don’t know what it was that I watched that night. What I do know is that Paul Bettany has been on this weird ‘religious badass character’ binge for awhile (The Da Vinci Code, the upcoming film Priest), and this film falls firmly into that category. Bettany plays Michael, an angel who decides to disobey God’s orders and protect humanity when God decides to go all Old Testament on us and destroy human kind. I think the reason why is because we take everything for granted and we’re all pretty terrible. Or maybe we don’t love God enough. I don’t really remember. Either way, Michael decides God is just being moody and will eventually realize how ridiculous this entire plan is, so he comes to Earth with a purpose… to take off his shirt, as all the advertisements promised. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Movie Reviews | Tagged: Adrianne Palicki, angels, Charles S. Dutton, Christopher Walken, Dennis Quaid, Doug Jones, Elias Koteas, Film review, horror, Jon Tenney, Kate Walsh, Kevin Durand, Legion, Lucas Black, Modern films, not recommended, Paul Bettany, Peter Schink, Priest, Scott Charles Stewart, The Prophecy, Tyrese Gibson, Viggo Mortensen, Willa Holland | 5 Comments »
Posted by Cantankerous Panda on January 21, 2010
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009)
Let me start by saying this: I have no idea what this movie was about. I’m not being facetious or cute when I say that– I honestly have no idea what the point of this movie was, what any of the driving forces were, or why most of these things happened. I guess that makes it easier for Michael Bay to make what I can only call a masturbatory film for himself. My mind was short-circuited so many times throughout this movie that, at one point, I curled into a fetal position and started mumbling to myself. I’m almost afraid to give this thing a full review, but I feel I must warn others to the fullest extent. Let’s get busy.
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Posted in Movie Reviews | Tagged: Film review, Hugo Weaving, John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Megan Fox, Michael Bay, Modern films, Robot movies, sci-fi, Shia LaBeouf, terrible movies, testicles, Timothy Olyphant, Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Tyrese Gibson, Waterworld | 11 Comments »